Air Drumming

Here's what happened..

I was caught up listening to a killer tune by Led Zeppelin - Kashmir at work earlier in the day. I saw my boss leaving the office and the interns were all called in for a meeting at the conference room.

I was layaning the tune and happily air drumming and air guitaring with the occasional miming, Axl Rose style. I was in my own world. The song was about 9 minutes, so I had fun...till I felt the sudden urge to fart.

I held it in.

Waiting for it to build up.

Put the other side of my earphones on.

Cranked up the volume.

Layan a bit more.

Waited for a drum roll.

Air drummed to it.

Waited for the last and final hit on the crash.

RIPPED A LOUD ONE!

Looked left to see my boss and the interns were there.

One of the interns closed their nose.

Which came along with a gag reaction.

I can't blame her.

It was one SMELLY fart.

MALUFIED!!

Definition: Agony

What is the definition of Agony?

A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

This kid's got some skill..
Check out..





California Dreaming





Whiter Shade of Pale





All You Need Is Love

Oh The Internet

Just some random pictures I found through the net

Gets you thinking about rape, huh?

Happy Redneck Burfday!

Smart

I wish!

My hobby

Who in the world would buy this piece of shit?

Try explaining this to me..I mean really..please..

What If?

I just hope laws like this never make it in our country.


The only thing that the Jabatan Hasil Dalam Negeri has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemlpoyed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.

Effective January 1st, 2009 your penis will be taxed according to size.

The brackets are as follows:

10"- 12" Luxury Tax..........$30.00

8"- 10" Pole Tax.............$25.00

5"- 8" Privilege Tax.........$15.00

4"- 5" Nuisance Tax..........$3.00

Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains. Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!

Sincerely,
Pecker Checker
Jabatan Hasil Dalam Negeri

*****NOTE*****

We are still waiting for answers for the following questions:- Are there penalties for early withdrawals? - What if one's penis is self employed? - Do multiple partners count as a corporation? - Are condoms a deductible expense as work clothes? - Is there an additional tax if you are not circumcised?

Fill This Up

Name:______________________________
SOCIAL SECURITYNo:____________________
ADDRESS:___________________________
CITY:__________________________________
STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________
MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________
HOME PHONENo.:________________________
OFFICE PHONENo.:______________________
SEXUAL PREFERENCE:
Male - Female
Female - Female
Male - Male
All of the Above
None of the Above - Please Specify:_____________________

I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT:

Salutatory Greeting: _____________________
Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________
Eye-to-Bust Contatct: ____________________
Eye-to-Below Waist Contact: ______________
Heavy breathing on neck: _________________
ear: _________________
other: _________________
Hands on body: ________________________
shoulder: ________________________
waist: ________________________
Gluteus Maximus: ________________
other: __________________________

Feelies: _________________________________
Gropies: _________________________________
Penetration (however slight): ____________
Other: ___________________________________

All of the Above: ________________________

MISCELLANEOUS: I WILL I WILL NOT
1. Assist in procurement of various potions, lotions, products,appliances, etc. to be used during sexual harassment.
2. Assist in procurement and maintenance of various types of substaining apparatus.3. Clean up.

I CERTIFY THAT I WILL ACCEPT SEXUAL HARASSMENT FROM:
Anyone: __________________________________
Anyone But: _______________________________
Only: ____________________________________

SIGNATURE: _______________________________________ DATE:____________________


This form is to be reviewed by immediate supervisor annually, prior toperformance rating and evaluation.

Nose Shit

Was talking to the BOSSES about some project deadline for the advert's text. The meeting was pretty intense with me presenting on my choice. I was fiesty...wiry in fact. I wasn't going to take no for an answer.

He looked pretty impressed. She was nodding as well.

THEN,

I decided to breathe out through my nose and a small ball of nose shit (booger) flew and landed mere centimeters from his middle finger.

HOW?

I sheepishly smiled, knocked it away and made like nothing happened. He said nothing. I think he noticed. He accepted my work though.

MALU!!

Dear Emma

Dear Emma,

Thank you so much for dropping a line. If you also have a blog please forward me it's link, I'd love to read it and link it to mine. I guess you are doing fine... I'm responding to your comment not on a personal level nor is it meant to hit your fine country, our neighbour, Indonesia. This is just a part of the debate which I'm looking forward to continuing.

Anyhoo,

I do appreciate on the imput on some facts on the Indonesian market. You do realize that the Indonesian population is some 228 million people, which is roughly almost 10 times more then the estimated 27.5 million people. Therefore, I'd like you to analize the ratio of sales to the "market".

Of course everywhere will be talking about the volume of record sales but here, as we are speaking on local support, let us analyze on how many locals are really supporting the industry.
Even with Peter Pan's record of 3 million copies sold in Indonesia, it's actualy about only one in a million who is buying.

Their "rezeki" on being blessed with good looks or brilliant minds and making money out of it was never at question in the first place. Lets say if they had to rely solely on the music, how would they survive? I take back what I said on the reliability of the Indonesian bands on Malaysia to make them rich. My apologies there. I now agree Malaysia on it's own doesn't put food on the plate for the Indonesian bands, I'm not even questioning the Malaysian devotion towards Indonesian bands. I'm only asking my fellow Malaysians to look and love what we have.

Emma,

How would you feel if your local telco (in our case MAXIS) sponsors a stadium, theme park concert for foreign acts? Indonesian acts included...when on the other side we are struggling to get sponsors, permits, running into trouble with the cops, venues(always some hall or club) for our bands-established and upcoming to perform. Amy Search performed in Limkokwing, Butterfingers performing in Ruums soon.

Thanks Fly Fm for having the Campur Chart, but you could have banged the one year anniversary in a stadium or make it feel real Ozzfest, Woodstock like. Maybe next year...i hope!

Thanx Emma...hoping to hear from you soon.




p.s. Emma was kind enough to leave a comment clarifying some facts on my previous post Local Scene Blues

LIVE ROCK n ROLL!!!!

To all Rock fans...

LIVE!!

Blister at Backyard Pub, Hartamas

every Saturday in May

10.00pm till late

ONE NITE ONLY

@

Laundry Bar, The Curve, Damansara

22nd May 2008

10.00pm

Be there!!!

REAL Milestones in a Man's Life - 100% Ori

Age 2
Being able to stand up and walk

Age 5
Washing/wiping own ass

Age 7
Going to school

Age 8
Learning to lie

Age 9
Using a pen to REALLY write

Age 11
Getting the tingly sensation from pulling the foreskin back more than 3times

Age 75
Actually remembering the tingly sensation