"Girls that take whisky seriously are often scary and have husky voices and their farts smell like smoke" - Vishaal Vickram on most probably not Diandra Soliano
No one fucks, literally or verbally with women whom when they fart, might just be cancerous to inhale. On the other hand, I must insist that I'm not a fart smelling kinda guy...but psychologically whenever someone says they've farted, you do take a whiff, right? Or else how would you know the degree of the stink.. Think about it..
Anyhoo, I've decided to group from wine sipping women to free flow loving girls according to their drink of choice while offering tactless, fact-less insights on their psyche.
Victoria
Having a classy and elegant name, Victorias only sip wine or their bubbly cousins, champagne. Victoria will linger around restaurants that you most probably can't spell, let alone pronounce. Rarely seen drinking by the drain or in a parking lot nearby KK Mart, let alone your apartment that you share with 6 other people.
However, sometimes within the elite, there are some glasses among diamonds. Yes, there are wannabes and god-forbid hipsters.
How to spot faux Vickys?
She might drink according to one variable or another and might not know the true value of the beverage. For example, she/they might choose the oldest or most expensive wine from the menu, without knowing a thing about Merlot, Shiraz, 2007, 2001, South Africa, Chile, etc
Cindy
Cindy enjoys and appreciates the flamboyant and sometimes exquisite skill of the bartender in mixing her the perfect drink (for the occasion).
Ranging from a feisty Margarita to a sexy Singapore Sling or even a hackneyed Gin and Tonic, this lass usually could sip and chug the night away.
Cindy is not neccesarily refined but she does know what she wants and how she wants it for the night. She is usually very cautious on what she puts in her mouth for the night and can be very picky...with her drink.
To pick her up in a bar, one must usually gauge what kind of drink she is drinking and yet offer to buy her something that looks close but not quite the drink in her glass; giving her ego a slight boost and allowing her to think she has control over the lack of your cocktatual (it isn't a word) knowledge.
A common conversation might start like:
Can I buy you another Strawberry Margarita?
Err..you can, but I'm having a Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri, two shots of rum..
(I am in no way promising you a cowgirl ride. Why would I?)
Patsy O'Hara
She is a new breed of lasses who particularly enjoy the dark Irish drink brewed typically by her distant uncle, Arthur.
Emerging strongly among today's women in Malaysia are these elite yet artsy-fartsy group who enjoys their pint(s) of stout and never from the bottle or can.
Usually blue-collared individuals or deeply involved in the arts or media, Patsy have found the perfect elixir for she doesn't particularly enjoy neither the taste of beer or the fear of the development of the magical and omnipresent beer belly nor the strength or kick of a cocktail.
Patsies don't to be taken too lightly. They are no bimbos and are well-versed in the fields they are involved. They have an astute insight and are equally opinionated when it comes to music, film, photography, business and politics.
I like Patsy.
P.S. Some Patsies love ciders and beware, some hipsters live in this zip code.
Alice
Alice is your girl-next-door, ale guzzling hottie!
She enjoys the occasional ice-cold one but drinking capacity can be limited because of the tender ale's tendency of filling up before shoshing up, the broken seal syndrome (frequent pissings) or the most common fear: the beer belly.
Alices are fun to be with and usually have no problem having a bottled beer in a field in a housing estate or while camping out by the road in front of a KK Mart (quick tip: beers are cheaper here than in 7-Eleven) after the wretched barman rings the damn bell!
They have somewhat no problem taking a piss at a secluded stairway.
Alice usually makes friends rather quickly and easily with the opposite sex and they have somewhat no problem taking a piss at a secluded stairway.
Lindsay
Let me introduce the ultimate free-flowing party girl. These girls seem to have every free-flow pass in town and can be seen at every free-flow party from Jinjang to Sepang.
Before we go on further, I would like to state that free drinks is always awesome but, but, being at every party is somewhat ridiculous, unless you have that magical object called the MEDIA PASS!
These ladies hit the joints early, get liquored up before 10 and sustain till 3am. Yes, they can afford the drinks but free stuff is always just that much sweeter, right.
These lovely ladies are very friendly too, but thread cautiously, alcohol can spark waterworks, green-monsters or even sluttish tendencies! However, more often than not, these lovely ladies either will do ever so well with the decoration of the toilets from her stomach or be seen playing dead outside clubs.
So, what's your name, tell me what's your name?
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