Because being a BOYFRIEND is like having a JOB

Folks,

I don't know if this would work for you, but imagine a world where life was based fully on merit (not applicable to PUBLIC university entrances/enrollments) where finding a mate would be the same as finding a job.

So, I've taken some time and company money to draft a cover letter and a CV for all of you who want to find a girlfriend.

Step 1: Get your Curricular Vitae done

See, simple and easy.

Note: If you put Elven, Wookie, Chubacca or even C++ under languages spoken, you deserve to be struck by a bucket of shit..unless of course, the 'job requires it.'

Step 2: Write a Cover Note

Your Cover Note should include your better qualities, but not give too much information and also a slight pledge to do something beneficial to your employer.

Here's an example:

Dear Miss xxx,

I read your application on a networking site advertising the vacancy of BOYFRIEND and I'm writing in to inform you my interest to fill in the position. 

For your information I first have to admit that I have a Bachelor status and I have no formal education and have never enrolled into the Institution of Marriage and have somewhat little to no plans to enroll in the near future as I have not explored my options as a Bachelor.

I’m self taught and am quite experienced in the act of caring and loving. I try hard to please and although I sometimes fail to do please, I do have a tub of ice-cream and a girly movie as a back-up. I’m also somewhat equipped with the art of serenading even if it means making up lyrics.

I also aspire to learn <something she's passionate about> and to learn to eat <her favourite food>.

I have also enclosed a CV for your perusal

Hoping to hear from you soon,

<Your name>

Now, YOU are all set!

Just wait for the call..SHIT, SHOWER and SHAVE (yes, all over...just in case) and go get that JOB

p.s. It works both ways, so ladies can also use this and it's also good for multiple applications