This One's for The Ladies

So, after being challenged requested to do a piece about the whisky drinking habits of the fairer sex, I have decided not to do it because of this quote:

"Girls that take whisky seriously are often scary and have husky voices and their farts smell like smoke"  - Vishaal Vickram on most probably not Diandra Soliano

No one fucks, literally or verbally with women whom when they fart, might just be cancerous to inhale. On the other hand, I must insist that I'm not a fart smelling kinda guy...but psychologically whenever someone says they've farted, you do take a whiff, right? Or else how would you know the degree of the stink.. Think about it..

Anyhoo, I've decided to group from wine sipping women to free flow loving girls according to their drink of choice while offering tactless, fact-less insights on their psyche.


Victoria

Having a classy and elegant name, Victorias only sip wine or their bubbly cousins, champagne. Victoria will linger around restaurants that you most probably can't spell, let alone pronounce. Rarely seen drinking by the drain or in a parking lot nearby KK Mart, let alone your apartment that you share with 6 other people.

However, sometimes within the elite, there are some glasses among diamonds. Yes, there are wannabes and god-forbid hipsters.

How to spot faux Vickys?

She might drink according to one variable or another and might not know the true value of the beverage. For example, she/they might choose the oldest or most expensive wine from the menu, without knowing a thing about Merlot, Shiraz, 2007, 2001, South Africa, Chile, etc


Cindy

Cindy enjoys and appreciates the flamboyant and sometimes exquisite skill of the bartender in mixing her the perfect drink (for the occasion).

Ranging from a feisty Margarita to a sexy Singapore Sling or even a hackneyed Gin and Tonic, this lass usually could sip and chug the night away.

Cindy is not neccesarily refined but she does know what she wants and how she wants it for the night. She is usually very cautious on what she puts in her mouth for the night and can be very picky...with her drink.

To pick her up in a bar, one must usually gauge what kind of drink she is drinking and yet offer to buy her something that looks close but not quite the drink in her glass; giving her ego a slight boost and allowing her to think she has control over the lack of your cocktatual (it isn't a word) knowledge.

A common conversation might start like:

Can I buy you another Strawberry Margarita?
Err..you can, but I'm having a Frozen Strawberry Daiquiri, two shots of rum..
(I am in no way promising you a cowgirl ride. Why would I?)


Patsy O'Hara

She is a new breed of lasses who particularly enjoy the dark Irish drink brewed typically by her distant uncle, Arthur.

Emerging strongly among today's women in Malaysia are these elite yet artsy-fartsy group who enjoys their pint(s) of stout and never from the bottle or can.

Usually blue-collared individuals or deeply involved in the arts or media, Patsy have found the perfect elixir for she doesn't particularly enjoy neither the taste of beer or the fear of the development of the magical and omnipresent beer belly nor the strength or kick of a cocktail.

Patsies don't to be taken too lightly. They are no bimbos and are well-versed in the fields they are involved. They have an astute insight and are equally opinionated when it comes to music, film, photography, business and politics.

I like Patsy.

P.S. Some Patsies love ciders and beware, some hipsters live in this zip code.


Alice

Alice is your girl-next-door, ale guzzling hottie!

She enjoys the occasional ice-cold one but drinking capacity can be limited because of the tender ale's tendency of filling up before shoshing up, the broken seal syndrome (frequent pissings) or the most common fear: the beer belly.

Alices are fun to be with and usually have no problem having a bottled beer in a field in a housing estate or while camping out by the road in front of a KK Mart (quick tip: beers are cheaper here than in 7-Eleven) after the wretched barman rings the damn bell!

They have somewhat no problem taking a piss at a secluded stairway.

Alice usually makes friends rather quickly and easily with the opposite sex and they have somewhat no problem taking a piss at a secluded stairway.


Lindsay

Let me introduce the ultimate free-flowing party girl. These girls seem to have every free-flow pass in town and can be seen at every free-flow party from Jinjang to Sepang.

Before we go on further, I would like to state that free drinks is always awesome but, but, being at every party is somewhat ridiculous, unless you have that magical object called the MEDIA PASS!

These ladies hit the joints early, get liquored up before 10 and sustain till 3am. Yes, they can afford the drinks but free stuff is always just that much sweeter, right.

These lovely ladies are very friendly too, but thread cautiously, alcohol can spark waterworks, green-monsters or even sluttish tendencies! However, more often than not, these lovely ladies either will do ever so well with the decoration of the toilets from her stomach or be seen playing dead outside clubs.




So, what's your name, tell me what's your name?

Why I want to drink like a Sir?

Most probably the manliest drinks of all time, aligned with the fight scenes in Fight Club and probably with the amount of manliness the new Expendables movie has, is the full flavoured, unassuming scotch whisky.

Known as the Water of Life in the early days, Scotch whisky was said to have healing properties. No, instead of being sloshed, William Wallace had real guts and gusto to take on the King of England, HRH King Longshanks!

Over the years, like everything typically American (go see how they and the rest of the world play football), they tried to distil Scotch, fucked it up and came up with this whiskey drink they named after a county in Kentucky, Bourbon. I ain't dissin' the drink, but the primary difference, to me is the spelling and the usage of sour mash. 

Now if you look at Jack Daniel's you could ask yourself: What is Tennessee Whiskey or you could say that Mr. Daniel's could be pulling off and American within America..Americanception; or you could do what I do and shut the hell up and drink!

Now, to distract you from the fact that Jack Daniel's isn't a bourbon, here's a poem on spelling:

Whisky or Whiskey

A Scotsman who spells

Whisky with a n ‘e’,

should be hand cuffed

and thrown head first in the Dee,

In the USA and Ireland,

it’s spelt with an ‘e’

but in Scotland

it’s real ‘Whisky’.

So if you see Whisky

and it has an ‘e’,

only take it,

if you get it for free!

For the name is not the same

and it never will be,

a dram is only a real dram,

from a bottle of ‘Scotch Whisky’.

In KL, regardless if we hit the clubs in Changkat, pubs in PJ or the fuck coffee shops in Brickfields..as long as there's a few friends feasting over a/a few bottle(s) of blended or single malt scotch, there'll be different styles of drinking.

I'm not saying you are doing it wrong..I'm just going to evaluate the whisky drinkers by their mixers..beginning with the all time Malaysian favourite:

The Basic Drinkers

Many a times we see the wannabe Ah Beng-sters, Ali-sters (kinda cool, actually) or even Raj-sters buy bottles and bottles of whiskies and when the waiter comes to them and ask: Mixer? Out comes the cola and ice.. Oh Lord, not only are they killing the whisky's taste with the taste of the cola, but the ice actually waters down the whole thing leaving nothing to be enjoyed besides cold sugar water!

These people usually:

Don't like the taste of whisky

Believe the added caffeine and sugar will help them get high faster

Stick to milk if you don't like the taste of whisky 

The Hipsters

Now they might choose a non-cola mixer, but don't get me wrong, these people also aren't able to enjoy a nice glass of whisky.

At one glance, you'd think they are more refined by mixing a non-cola drink in their whiskey. But in reality regardless if they indulge in a dash of green tea or even a quart of hot chocolate (I don't know how it tastes like), this way of drinking whisky is only good for their hobo-looking, iPhone dialling, empty framed, snow cap wearing sorry asses.

Oh, these are also the people who fuck up wine by adding 7-Up, grape juice, lemon, etc... Bastards!

The 9.5s

These guys, almost pure class. They are the type who know not to fuck up the drink with A&W Root Beer or bastardly tomato juice but yet don't want the full dosage of the flavour of whisky in their mouth.

These guys can be spotted drinking whisky with water and ice, ginger ale, soda or even on the rocks. Almost close to pure perfection but not quite.

Ladies, these are the guys you should date and will be great lovers in bed..

The 'Like a Sirs'

Now these guys take it to a different level.

These guys are the epitome of exquisiteness of whom celebrate art as they yearn to take on and overcome the greatest challenges in life.

Whisky with a splash of water in a proper whisky glass, a tulip shaped glass.

A splash of water, they say will ignite the full taste of the whisky and its aroma will rise boldly according to the shape of the glass and evoke every nasal sense, sending euphoric signals to the brain to raise the glass and let the fluid flow past the lips to caress every inch of your mouth leaving it indulgently lost in the golden comfort of malted barley provoking a deep hunger for this perfectly crafted elixir which for years matured patiently within the confines of the sturdiest of oak casks ensuring the body and colour is preserved over at least three years.

This man doesn't down his whisky, he toasts every sip to the craftsmanship and beauty of producing a gentlemen's drink

This man drinks not because he can, he drinks because he is

This man will develop a strong passion towards the arts and a deeper appreciation towards artistry

This man is worldly with oceans of knowledge and wealth of opinions that he is ever willing to share

This man, sadly, is not me...yet

A manly drink, maybe...but it's drinkers can be pussies - Darian Henry (with Vishaal Vickram while setting Diandra Soliano right)

Notice there are no damn pictures today..Why? Because Nuffnang already has fucked me over for the past 4 years without giving me a cent...so, why should I promote another brand?

Songs that will be played all day (in my head at least)

So this isn't a long weekend or anything, but today might just be the day I get crowned as The Score's King of Hot Wings at their Chili Rush Challenge in Jaya One, PJ.

It seems that this will either kill or soil you

Don't come..watch Hindustan on TV3's Panggung Sabtu!


Anyhoo, back to why I'm writing this.. Here's the today's list of songs you SHOULD listen to...on repeat! Why? Because fuck you, that's why..

No, I'm not offering any justification on why you should listen, just layan!



Metalingus - Alter Bridge





Santa Monica - Everclear






Say it isn't so - Gareth Gates Weezer






Rise of the Fenix - Tenacious D






Even Flow - Pearl Jam





See you!

Five Ways to become a HARIMAU

Seeing that it is about 26 hours till kick-off at the National Stadium between bitter rivals Malaysia and Singapore for a ticket to the World Cup Qualifiers, I've decided to let you in on a few ways to get you in the mood.

How to prepare for a Harimau Malaya (Malayan Tigers) game?


1. Secure Entry


Make sure that if you aren't as Lucky as Ramon and Mario, you get your tickets early! Don't go around like a fucking hooker on crack trying to ask everyone, anyone and anywhere..including Twitter for tickets the moment the word is mentioned.

So, I bought tickets for 9pm..

Dei, the match is at 8.30pm! You better go early..and you got how many tickets, hor? Got extra ke?

The tickets...Captain America la!

Memang Douchebag la lu, bro!




2. Energize


Remember that games kicking off at 8.45pm can end at midnight. So, make sure you have enough water, food, rest, etc to sustain your energy levels.


Frankly speaking, cheering is almost as tiring as playing the damn sport because when we cheer, often or not our levels will peak in direct retaliation to what's happening on the field - be it a wrong offside call, a Jewish lad kicking the ball..or even dismal performances by our own lads. Therefore, the more often things happen, the more you peak in excitement and you get tired..




3. Seat Right


Generally, there are a few sections when it comes to seating at a stadium.


VIP Boxes
Here's where politicians and big names watch the games. It's believed that within the tinted glasses is a room where you can indulge to your heart's desire.


There even was a rumour that there were strippers, cocaine and midget whores inside a Manchester United - Cardiff or something game.


Grand Stand
This is where rich folks pay more to see the same game from the same distance as the Rakyat Jelata from the other side.


Usually occupied by kids who were bullied in school and think they are cool now.


Home Seats
The whole stadium except the top corner of the stadium and a few more rows


Ultras Malaya
Look out for people at top corners of the stands usually singing and drumming..sometimes dancing and most importantly cheering.


They'll most probably be wearing black tees with yellow scarfs held high









Away Seats
Whatever's left. Possibly 3 rows in some corner with a fucked up view.


For this occasion, look out for an awkward looking group dressed in either red and white (Singapore, not Indonesia) or Blue.






4. Get in the ZONE


To get in the zone, you'd need to prepare your mind and body for the experience. Here's the simplest way to shift to a football fan mindset:

I know the beer is Singaporean but the name is Malaysian but 6 of this, you'll be massive!

If you can't drink, Tiger biscuits also counts!




5. Lose Your Voice


Shout, scream, sing...tell the referee what a cunt he is, taunt the away fans. Go ahead! Don't just sit quietly, you have bloody libraries for that!


Here are a few songs and chants that might help you out tomorrow:


Negaraku


Inilah Barisan Kita

How it is



How it should be sung




Malaysia Chant






So, see you tomorrow in Black and Yellow!

For the love of the game..

So, the last of the English teams played our Harimau Muda last week. Three games in 9 days saw us lose all three conceding 11 goals and scoring 3.

Warning: If you can't take honesty, Faakaff!

The Good


Liverpool FC


Liverpool FC thanking MALAYSIAN fans for our warm welcome and hospitality. I think we have showed the team that Anfield is more than a stadium, it's an omnipotent sense of belonging.

Baru Training, bro

Besides that, it was awesome seeing Dirk Kuyt score on Malaysian soil.




XI Harimau


In yesterday's game, Ong Kim Swee fielded a nervous Select XI to face Chelsea. Although at times, I wished we realised that some of our players are about as tall as John Terry's nostrils and would stop trying to play the long ball, I must say defensively they showed grit, mistake-ridden grit.


We contained Chelsea for about 80 minutes before conceding a non-goal by Drogba.


Which is way better than conceding 10 goals and then blame your own supporters (Read On)




The Bad:


The Linesman


Entrusted with keeping the offside rule and the playability of the ball during the match was his responsibility. However, our dear sir, the linesman on the nearside failed to do so, resulting in two atrocious offside calls and awarding Chelsea a very much undeserved goal when ol' squinty claimed the ball had crossed the line into the goal. Dickhead

Lu tarak tau, lu tamau kasi gol laa

The Ugly




Najib Razak


Given that the Malaysian PM supports the wrong coloured team in Manchester and at the same time the mastermind of this 1Malaysia thing, with the naivety of a pawn on a chessboard, expected to see him at the Malaysian FA Cup game between Kelantan and Terengganu.


HE WASN'T THERE


I thought:
Fine, he is not from either state anyways.


Harimau Malaya played Lebanon and the Chinese Taipei, followed by an English giant, Arsenal and Chelsea with another coming up against our Evertonian-like neighbours, Singapore.


I swear I thought he was gonna be there giving his beauty queen wave.


HE WASN'T THERE


I looked at the papers. Like the UEFA Champions League I thought he was at a Mamak shop in Putrajaya and perhaps The Star would put him on the front page again and this time with a happier expression.

Front Page Material

IT WASN'T THERE


I was thinking Champions League was at 4am, so he most probably slept at 9pm. So it made sense that he wasn't there watching his potential voters play.




Rajagopal


Speaking of unpatriotic, Rajagopal having the traits of becoming a top class BPL Manager, white hair, somewhat master tactician and speaks total shit after his team loses, has infuriated 'Malaysian Scousers' by claiming we are not patriotic.

Just listen to him taking a rip at Liverpool fans, most probably he failed to realise:





80000 Malaysians cheered when Liverpool scored
87000 Malaysians cheered when Malaysia scored
29 mil  Malaysians think the free kick goal was top drawer
0 players were booed at the Malaysia-Liverpool game


I'd like to see him comment on the support Scums have if and when they visit next.




Benayoun's Treatment


Granted that calling him Judas is wrong because that might be a racial slur and Fernando Torres already has taken that one, the boos Yossi Benayoun got every time he touched the ball was uncalled for.

Liverpool fans were instantly blamed for giving him a hard time after his switch to London but that couldn't be right, Judas was cheered every time the camera zoomed at him.


So, the people booing him are from an obvious source for obvious reasons. What good would booing a scrawny fleet-footed Jew do?


I'd just like to add that the problem in the Gaza Strip is political and not religious as we zealously imagine.


Anyhoo, see you this Thursday as our lads take on Singapore.

Towards a Developed Rakyat

The vast growth of our nation in the past 13-15 years, perhaps more but at least that's how far back I remember and started to take notice, has been immense!

From world class facilities and landmarks such as stadiums, twin towers and the Bandar Tasik Selatan one-stop traveling center, its undeniable that we have progressed in certain areas abreast or even better than some of the most developed nations.

However, one question still haunts me: Are we, The Rakyat ready to be a developed people?

To be a developed nation, in all honesty takes more than just facilities or the industrial development of a country. Yes, I'm very proud that we have produced cars and stuff and now are embarking on a knowledge-based industry. Alternative coverage of Bersih has proven that we are well equipped and empowered to take advantage of various social media platforms to share knowledge.

Sadly, that is not enough to constitute us as a developed people. To me, a developed people needs to be inclined to start practicing the following:

Civic Mindedness


How often have we been to Ikea, fuck that, McDonald's and when scouting for a decent table to sit we find one or all of the following:

1.  A bloody filthy table that roaches and rodents will call Utopia
2.  A table that sits 6 occupied by two or three people

How hard is it for us to stack up all the plates, cups, utensils and all of them wrappers and sauce plates on the tray and put them accordingly (ie Reusable stuff at the rack provided and disposable stuff in the dustbin)?

Ikea puts up a notice, for humanity's sake! Plus, isn't it common sense to clean up after oneself? Try walking away leaving your plates at home wouldn't your mom/step-mom or Kermit the Frog smack you square at the back of your head?

Another thing that grinds my gears, and this is nowhere near the sexy kind of grinding, is the aftermath of a Pasar Malam.

Sure, from as early as 4pm till as late as 11pm we will be flocking to get various stuff from Nasi Lemak to cheap ass toothbrushes but when it ends, our dear entrepreneurs leave the place in a dump.

Don't just take my word for it. Taken by Khristabelle at TTDI late yesterday

What will it take for them to clean up themselves? Do we have to enforce laws? Summonses? Tear gas them? It just doesn't make sense that common ethics is so hard to comprehend. Or are we too complacent with the 'Cleanliness Deposit' we pay?


Appreciation of the Arts


No, I'm not asking us to be fucking poets or painters. I'm just calling for a little appreciation of all art forms. Take a look at European nations, heck look at China and Japan if your mind can't venture that far. What element do we see in common?

They are nations that hold pride in their arts, and art here is not restricted to canvas. These people preserve their artworks like gold and at the same time have developed the sustainability in the creation of content that engulfs all art forms.

From Picasso to wacky Japanese shows, the content developed is relevant and has enriched their society.

I'm not saying we haven't done our bit. Shows such as Showdown have done its part in highlighting dance in Malaysia but what about other shows we see on TV and locally produced movies?

Are our intellect so low that we are forced to come up with Halimah Jongangs and Adnan Sempits? How many times are we going to make 'funny' movies about Mak Limah and zombies?

It's an honour to point out that the CGI on Karak and the fight scenes in KL Gangster and Kongsi is superb but somehow the general plot lacks the depth to challenge our intellect.

Let's face it, we have been recycling material for way to long. P.Ramlee did the 'gitu-gitu' bit and half a century later, we are still emulating that?

I'd hate so say stuff about our music scene because I don't want to be accused of having conflict of interests but I can't help point out that our TOP local stations play more Lady Gaga and that girl-boy Bieber more times than rabbits fuck.

We have good music and having only a hour-long music chart is not good enough. I know that at the end of the day it's all money but do we hear an American calling us up wondering who Yusri is sleeping with now?

Perhaps the government could impose a quota, I mean we are used to quotas, what's another, right, of local content on all fronts? Or we as a people start demanding?

Buy Malaysian, Travel Malaysian...content? Foreign!

I can fight baboons..can you?

So, I've been letting my brain wander off during a very HOT day at work and I found out I can take on 38 baboons. See, I even got the official certificate to show

If I was armed with a 'flash-pussy-light' thingy, I'd probably take on more!

Created by Oatmeal

Bend it like Reina

With modern football being somewhat of a fashion statement nowadays...all of the men boys I know have or still are idolizing some football star.

Walk down Drive to your nearby playground and you'll see kids dressed in the same manner their stars dress..from their kits to socks..even the laces on their boots mirror football players.

Here's where it gets interesting..their hairstyles.

Over the years..many people have been copying Beckham or even than Portuguese Prancing Pony Ronaldo..even Edgar Davids and Fellaini hair had followers

Edgar Davids' Predator look

Fellaini..I swear I play fustal with someone that looks like him

Confession: As a boy..I too had dreams of donning hairstyles like these people above. Sadly tho..the way my head is evolving, my only hope is to have hairstyles like Raul Meireles, Gary McAllister or Pepe Reina

Meireles

 

 

 

 

McAllister

Reina

 

 

As you can see..all of us share the same trait..baldness Liverpool FC.

YNWA!

Speaking of football...

Today's Lesson  

Football is not the gayish game Americans play with pads and helmets. 

Football is 22 men running around a field trying to get a ball into a net while Howard Webb one Jackass blows a whistle and two others play with flags while another holds up certain numbers on a board from time to time.

The Americans play: Gay Rugby

She can play on my team...anytime XD

How to live longer

So, a few more days to Christmas and I realised I wanted better health and a long life this year..how am I ever going to get that?

Staring at boobs

It's scientifically proven that boobs will help us MEN live longer.
Here's the math:

10 minutes of Boob-watching a day = 30 minutes of Exercise WILL increase the life-span of a male by up to 3,153,600 minutes = 6 years

Think I'm lying?

I'm NOT!!

Therefore, I've coined up a Christmas tune on my own to give to good ol' Saint Nick..

All I want for Christmas

Every body pauses and stares at she
These two tits are round as you can see
I don't know just who to praise for this discovery!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is your two round tits,
your two round tits,
see your two round tits!

Gee, if I could only
have you two round tits,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas."

It seems so long since I could say,
"Sister Susie has a nice left nipple!"
Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
if I could only suckle (thhhh, thhhh)

All I want for Christmas
is your two round tits,
your two round tits,
see your two round tits.

Gee, if I could only
have your two round tits,
then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas!"

 *To be sung in the same tune of All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth

10 minutes starts.....NOW!

Friday Nite LIVE

Seeing as how Blister will be rockin' it at Backyard this Friday (December 3, 2010) from 9.30pm til LATE

I've decided to pen type a few words to help YOU get accustomed to the ALL NEW Backyard's MOSH PIT!

Speaking on Mosh Pits, I've seen/been in a few 'Major 'Pits' me-self..

*Blast Off, KL, 2004

*MTV World Stage, KL, 2009

*Slash Live in KL, 2010

*The SHOUT! Awards, KL, 2010

The ONE thing all of these have in common is: Malaysians have no MOSH PIT ETIQUETTE!

So here's:

THE RULES OF THE MOSH PIT


The FIRST RULE of FIGHT CLUB the MOSH PIT is: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB the MOSH PIT (Sorry, I got carried away)

#1 Dress Appropriately
Observe comfortable but ROCK-ish clothing at all times. 

DO NOT mosh over-aggressively with your stupid-assed-metal-clad boots and chains and spikes coming out from all the wrong places. You'll just hurt someone physically not emotionally because they see how retarded you look. 

Spiked hair is still good in my book as long as it doesn't belong to a TOTAL DOUCHE!

On the other hand, if you come to a mosh pit dressed in a suit or some preppy looking kid like Fred from Scobby-Doo or anyone from the Archie series, prepare to get taunted and ridiculed so hard, droplets of shit might fall from your eyes.

Fred Jones

Dressing up like Shaggy however, is acceptable.


#2 NO fists...NO elbows!
Nobody likes a DOUCHE throwing his/her elbows/fists into another person's rib,face, scrotum, etc. If you had a fist or two come your way, you'd probably deserve it from not paying attention to the Pit and texting another DOUCHE: 

OMFG...dis band ttly rox! XD I wish dese morons'd stp jumpin so fucken much..so annoyin! :/

If you really can't take it anymore, just pinch 'em around the inner arm. I guarantee that they will feel the pain..even though he/she has had her eyes tattooed.


#3 NO Phones/Cameras/Cameraphones
Fact: Unless the BAND asked you to record a clip, don't do it.

You are in the (mosh) pit for a reason: fully experience the energy and music thru' bouncing your bodies in a safe yet aggressive manner..

So, don't bother carrying your sweat drenched (arm)pits in the air, trying to record the WHOLE concert and at the same time getting pissed off at the few people who are trying to mosh, hence ruining your shots..because if you are the tool that's doing just that, LET LOOSE BRAH! 

You already are probably stuck in a crappy DAY job..leave the stick in the office man..put it back in your ass tomorrow..LIVE a little. What are you gonna do with the clip anyways? Boast to your equally lame friends that you were there? Put up a video on Youtube?


#4 YES to deodorant
Maths: You + 60 minutes waiting in line + 150 minutes in the Mosh Pit = SMELLY!

Just be kind to all of us..slap on some deodorant, splash a little perfume..C'mon, is that so hard to ask?


#5 Don't be a cheap-thrill..desperate guy..
Don't go round molesting people..it's not cool.
What's even more uncool-er? 
You going around looking to be molested.


Sad to say, but I've seen a few blokes dressed up tranny-like, looking ugly and shit and go around rubbing themselves over other guys. HELLS NO!


My advice to these kinda PERVS: Try crowd-surfing. That way you'll be groped and grabbed all over.

Oh and crowd-surfing starts from front to back..do it the other way and I can guarantee you..YOU WILL BE DROPPED!

 I know my shit!

Anyhoo..this is a CALL to all Rockers and Rollers to come down to Backyard Pub, TRUST ME..the pub has great atmosphere, reasonable prices, and us, Blister - Rockin' the whole damn night.

Need directions? 

Click here

Need orgasms?  

Click here 

Blister

JEFF 101: An Introduction to Jeff

Education time 

I see a lot of people using the term JEFF rather freely nowadays and some of them really do not have the class while using it.

JEFF is not an ordinary word

JEFF can't be thrown around for FUN

So, I've taken (my company's) time to teach you a little on JEFF

JEFF 


JEFF is an English word that is generally considered profane which, in its most literal meaning, refers to the act of sexual intercourse. However, by extension it may be used to negatively characterize anything that can be dismissed, disdained, defiled, or destroyed.

"JEFF" can be used as a verb, adverb, adjective, command, interjection, noun, and can logically be used as virtually any word in a sentence (e.g., "JEFF the JEFFing JEFFers").

Moreover, it is one of the few words in the English language which could be applied as an infix (e.g., "Am I sexy? AbsoJEFFinglutely!"; "BullJEFFingshit!").

It has various metaphorical meanings.

The verb "to be JEFFed" can mean "to be cheated" (e.g., "I got JEFFed by a scam artist"), or alternatively, to be sexually penetrated.

As a noun "a JEFF" or "a JEFFer" may describe a contemptible person. "A JEFF" may mean an act of copulation. The word can be used as an interjection, and its participle is sometimes used as a strong emphatic.

The verb to JEFF may be used transitively or intransitively, and it appears in compounds, including JEFF off, JEFF up, "JEFF you", and JEFF with. In less explicit usages (but still regarded as vulgar), JEFF or JEFF with can mean to mess around, or to deal with unfairly or harshly. In a phrase such as "don't give a JEFF", the word is the equivalent of "damn", in the sense of something having little value. In "what the JEFF!", it serves merely as an intensive. If something is very abnormal or annoying "this is JEFFed up!" may be said.

Other fun facts about JEFF:

JEFF is the brain-child of Ramon

JEFF is a short for the drug Jeffrey



  JEFF is also the name of this person:

Add him/her on Facebook here


To all who are really named JEFF, it's OK, it's not YOUR fault you were named JEFF. It's not too late to get it changed...LEGALLY!

Bear Beer

Intrudu came. Although I thought it's rather soon to celebrate since it's hardly a month since Nan's funeral (GOD REST HER SOUL), we still decided to have some fun after the splashing.

Afternoon came and we were getting ready for the annual fancy-dress (cross-dress) football and Mangs and I were pulling out our respective mother's clothes...from blouses to blusher and even fake moles like Sharifah Aini.

However, we were disappointed by last minute cancellations made by the ever so efficient organizers. *snort !

We decided to sit at the Padang and watch the Soccerstars (including Scott...shit) play football. In the meantime, Zach, Edward and Clifford went to get a few beers. When they came back, I knew they saw things my way...

They came back with cans and cans of Bear Beer. With it's 12% alcohol, everyone got a bit more drunk than usual.



Edward got an earful for trying to miss his bus...Zach drove home stoned...Clifford, Mangs and I walked home shoulder to shoulder to shoulder with cuts and tears on our feet from the bare-footed, alcohol-infused street soccer.

Mangs and I vomited and slept.