There's NO shit on Mondays

As busy as I am at the new job, I've been observing the terms: Shit has Hit the Fan and I Hate Mondays quite closely and I've decided to once again put my GENIUS to great use and ANALise the term and how it works at a TYPICAL week in the office and have concluded that:

Mondays are cool 

I <3 Mondays!

I'm SCARED of THURSDAYS!

Data Presentation:

After WEEKS and WEEKS of taking samples from my office and 2 other offices, I've come up with this chart

 Which naturally translates to this GRAPH:

As you can see, Shit hits YOU at 0.7 (70%) or at 6.3 hours* on a Thursday which is at about 3.18pm!* 

With that, I leave YOU afraid of Thursdays and hopefully be more like me, with a BRAND NEW appreciation for Mondays!

I might be wrong, but YOU are most definitely not right

*Calculations based on a 9.00am-6.00pm, 9-hour (8 work hours + 1 lunch hour) working day; tea time, overtime and cigarette breaks not included; batteries sold separately

Air Drumming

Here's what happened..

I was caught up listening to a killer tune by Led Zeppelin - Kashmir at work earlier in the day. I saw my boss leaving the office and the interns were all called in for a meeting at the conference room.

I was layaning the tune and happily air drumming and air guitaring with the occasional miming, Axl Rose style. I was in my own world. The song was about 9 minutes, so I had fun...till I felt the sudden urge to fart.

I held it in.

Waiting for it to build up.

Put the other side of my earphones on.

Cranked up the volume.

Layan a bit more.

Waited for a drum roll.

Air drummed to it.

Waited for the last and final hit on the crash.

RIPPED A LOUD ONE!

Looked left to see my boss and the interns were there.

One of the interns closed their nose.

Which came along with a gag reaction.

I can't blame her.

It was one SMELLY fart.

MALUFIED!!

Nose Shit

Was talking to the BOSSES about some project deadline for the advert's text. The meeting was pretty intense with me presenting on my choice. I was fiesty...wiry in fact. I wasn't going to take no for an answer.

He looked pretty impressed. She was nodding as well.

THEN,

I decided to breathe out through my nose and a small ball of nose shit (booger) flew and landed mere centimeters from his middle finger.

HOW?

I sheepishly smiled, knocked it away and made like nothing happened. He said nothing. I think he noticed. He accepted my work though.

MALU!!

Work is Work

I woke up late this morning to the sounds of my MONOPHONIC, CAMERALESS phone ringing for me to be wished good morning. Laziness sat over me like a dark cloud. I admit I was about to succumb to it. I was going to call up the office and lie through my teeth about some overrated medical condition. Then I thought of what Scott told Paul sometime ago.

It was quite late or early in the morning (bloody politically correct people) when we decided to play Counter-Strike after shisha and mamak. Clifford and I was then in a non-profit organization called JOBLESS.ORG while JaQhua,Zach and Edward had the next day off. Paul and Scott were the only ones who had to wake up in less than 3hours.

"Cannot make it la..tomorrow work..I tired, balls."
"OK"
"No hal"
"I also sleepy dy"
"Come la..go home"
"Eh, Paul...chill la..I also work tomorrow"
"You sit at the desk, balls...I must change gearbox"
"Relax la..I also got work...must get up early, balls...lepak is lepak...work is work, Paul. We lepak today...Zach, Edward, Darian all down..."
"OK...1 hour la..."

So we went to play Counter-Strike and had fun like an 8-year old. Around 4.30am all of us went home to sleep.

When we met for breakfast(around 3.30pm- I got up at 7.00am...I SWEAR)...

"Paul sure never go work"
"Went, balls. He called me from office so that I'd believe him"
"Yes, balls. He called me also"
"You guess who my mother and I saw this morning"
"Who?"
"Who, balls?"
"OG?"
"Balls OG, I saw Scott, smiling out of Dr Pandu's Clinic...holding MC in his hands"

WORK IS WORK, eh?