Five Ways to become a HARIMAU

Seeing that it is about 26 hours till kick-off at the National Stadium between bitter rivals Malaysia and Singapore for a ticket to the World Cup Qualifiers, I've decided to let you in on a few ways to get you in the mood.

How to prepare for a Harimau Malaya (Malayan Tigers) game?


1. Secure Entry


Make sure that if you aren't as Lucky as Ramon and Mario, you get your tickets early! Don't go around like a fucking hooker on crack trying to ask everyone, anyone and anywhere..including Twitter for tickets the moment the word is mentioned.

So, I bought tickets for 9pm..

Dei, the match is at 8.30pm! You better go early..and you got how many tickets, hor? Got extra ke?

The tickets...Captain America la!

Memang Douchebag la lu, bro!




2. Energize


Remember that games kicking off at 8.45pm can end at midnight. So, make sure you have enough water, food, rest, etc to sustain your energy levels.


Frankly speaking, cheering is almost as tiring as playing the damn sport because when we cheer, often or not our levels will peak in direct retaliation to what's happening on the field - be it a wrong offside call, a Jewish lad kicking the ball..or even dismal performances by our own lads. Therefore, the more often things happen, the more you peak in excitement and you get tired..




3. Seat Right


Generally, there are a few sections when it comes to seating at a stadium.


VIP Boxes
Here's where politicians and big names watch the games. It's believed that within the tinted glasses is a room where you can indulge to your heart's desire.


There even was a rumour that there were strippers, cocaine and midget whores inside a Manchester United - Cardiff or something game.


Grand Stand
This is where rich folks pay more to see the same game from the same distance as the Rakyat Jelata from the other side.


Usually occupied by kids who were bullied in school and think they are cool now.


Home Seats
The whole stadium except the top corner of the stadium and a few more rows


Ultras Malaya
Look out for people at top corners of the stands usually singing and drumming..sometimes dancing and most importantly cheering.


They'll most probably be wearing black tees with yellow scarfs held high









Away Seats
Whatever's left. Possibly 3 rows in some corner with a fucked up view.


For this occasion, look out for an awkward looking group dressed in either red and white (Singapore, not Indonesia) or Blue.






4. Get in the ZONE


To get in the zone, you'd need to prepare your mind and body for the experience. Here's the simplest way to shift to a football fan mindset:

I know the beer is Singaporean but the name is Malaysian but 6 of this, you'll be massive!

If you can't drink, Tiger biscuits also counts!




5. Lose Your Voice


Shout, scream, sing...tell the referee what a cunt he is, taunt the away fans. Go ahead! Don't just sit quietly, you have bloody libraries for that!


Here are a few songs and chants that might help you out tomorrow:


Negaraku


Inilah Barisan Kita

How it is



How it should be sung




Malaysia Chant






So, see you tomorrow in Black and Yellow!

For the love of the game..

So, the last of the English teams played our Harimau Muda last week. Three games in 9 days saw us lose all three conceding 11 goals and scoring 3.

Warning: If you can't take honesty, Faakaff!

The Good


Liverpool FC


Liverpool FC thanking MALAYSIAN fans for our warm welcome and hospitality. I think we have showed the team that Anfield is more than a stadium, it's an omnipotent sense of belonging.

Baru Training, bro

Besides that, it was awesome seeing Dirk Kuyt score on Malaysian soil.




XI Harimau


In yesterday's game, Ong Kim Swee fielded a nervous Select XI to face Chelsea. Although at times, I wished we realised that some of our players are about as tall as John Terry's nostrils and would stop trying to play the long ball, I must say defensively they showed grit, mistake-ridden grit.


We contained Chelsea for about 80 minutes before conceding a non-goal by Drogba.


Which is way better than conceding 10 goals and then blame your own supporters (Read On)




The Bad:


The Linesman


Entrusted with keeping the offside rule and the playability of the ball during the match was his responsibility. However, our dear sir, the linesman on the nearside failed to do so, resulting in two atrocious offside calls and awarding Chelsea a very much undeserved goal when ol' squinty claimed the ball had crossed the line into the goal. Dickhead

Lu tarak tau, lu tamau kasi gol laa

The Ugly




Najib Razak


Given that the Malaysian PM supports the wrong coloured team in Manchester and at the same time the mastermind of this 1Malaysia thing, with the naivety of a pawn on a chessboard, expected to see him at the Malaysian FA Cup game between Kelantan and Terengganu.


HE WASN'T THERE


I thought:
Fine, he is not from either state anyways.


Harimau Malaya played Lebanon and the Chinese Taipei, followed by an English giant, Arsenal and Chelsea with another coming up against our Evertonian-like neighbours, Singapore.


I swear I thought he was gonna be there giving his beauty queen wave.


HE WASN'T THERE


I looked at the papers. Like the UEFA Champions League I thought he was at a Mamak shop in Putrajaya and perhaps The Star would put him on the front page again and this time with a happier expression.

Front Page Material

IT WASN'T THERE


I was thinking Champions League was at 4am, so he most probably slept at 9pm. So it made sense that he wasn't there watching his potential voters play.




Rajagopal


Speaking of unpatriotic, Rajagopal having the traits of becoming a top class BPL Manager, white hair, somewhat master tactician and speaks total shit after his team loses, has infuriated 'Malaysian Scousers' by claiming we are not patriotic.

Just listen to him taking a rip at Liverpool fans, most probably he failed to realise:





80000 Malaysians cheered when Liverpool scored
87000 Malaysians cheered when Malaysia scored
29 mil  Malaysians think the free kick goal was top drawer
0 players were booed at the Malaysia-Liverpool game


I'd like to see him comment on the support Scums have if and when they visit next.




Benayoun's Treatment


Granted that calling him Judas is wrong because that might be a racial slur and Fernando Torres already has taken that one, the boos Yossi Benayoun got every time he touched the ball was uncalled for.

Liverpool fans were instantly blamed for giving him a hard time after his switch to London but that couldn't be right, Judas was cheered every time the camera zoomed at him.


So, the people booing him are from an obvious source for obvious reasons. What good would booing a scrawny fleet-footed Jew do?


I'd just like to add that the problem in the Gaza Strip is political and not religious as we zealously imagine.


Anyhoo, see you this Thursday as our lads take on Singapore.

Towards a Developed Rakyat

The vast growth of our nation in the past 13-15 years, perhaps more but at least that's how far back I remember and started to take notice, has been immense!

From world class facilities and landmarks such as stadiums, twin towers and the Bandar Tasik Selatan one-stop traveling center, its undeniable that we have progressed in certain areas abreast or even better than some of the most developed nations.

However, one question still haunts me: Are we, The Rakyat ready to be a developed people?

To be a developed nation, in all honesty takes more than just facilities or the industrial development of a country. Yes, I'm very proud that we have produced cars and stuff and now are embarking on a knowledge-based industry. Alternative coverage of Bersih has proven that we are well equipped and empowered to take advantage of various social media platforms to share knowledge.

Sadly, that is not enough to constitute us as a developed people. To me, a developed people needs to be inclined to start practicing the following:

Civic Mindedness


How often have we been to Ikea, fuck that, McDonald's and when scouting for a decent table to sit we find one or all of the following:

1.  A bloody filthy table that roaches and rodents will call Utopia
2.  A table that sits 6 occupied by two or three people

How hard is it for us to stack up all the plates, cups, utensils and all of them wrappers and sauce plates on the tray and put them accordingly (ie Reusable stuff at the rack provided and disposable stuff in the dustbin)?

Ikea puts up a notice, for humanity's sake! Plus, isn't it common sense to clean up after oneself? Try walking away leaving your plates at home wouldn't your mom/step-mom or Kermit the Frog smack you square at the back of your head?

Another thing that grinds my gears, and this is nowhere near the sexy kind of grinding, is the aftermath of a Pasar Malam.

Sure, from as early as 4pm till as late as 11pm we will be flocking to get various stuff from Nasi Lemak to cheap ass toothbrushes but when it ends, our dear entrepreneurs leave the place in a dump.

Don't just take my word for it. Taken by Khristabelle at TTDI late yesterday

What will it take for them to clean up themselves? Do we have to enforce laws? Summonses? Tear gas them? It just doesn't make sense that common ethics is so hard to comprehend. Or are we too complacent with the 'Cleanliness Deposit' we pay?


Appreciation of the Arts


No, I'm not asking us to be fucking poets or painters. I'm just calling for a little appreciation of all art forms. Take a look at European nations, heck look at China and Japan if your mind can't venture that far. What element do we see in common?

They are nations that hold pride in their arts, and art here is not restricted to canvas. These people preserve their artworks like gold and at the same time have developed the sustainability in the creation of content that engulfs all art forms.

From Picasso to wacky Japanese shows, the content developed is relevant and has enriched their society.

I'm not saying we haven't done our bit. Shows such as Showdown have done its part in highlighting dance in Malaysia but what about other shows we see on TV and locally produced movies?

Are our intellect so low that we are forced to come up with Halimah Jongangs and Adnan Sempits? How many times are we going to make 'funny' movies about Mak Limah and zombies?

It's an honour to point out that the CGI on Karak and the fight scenes in KL Gangster and Kongsi is superb but somehow the general plot lacks the depth to challenge our intellect.

Let's face it, we have been recycling material for way to long. P.Ramlee did the 'gitu-gitu' bit and half a century later, we are still emulating that?

I'd hate so say stuff about our music scene because I don't want to be accused of having conflict of interests but I can't help point out that our TOP local stations play more Lady Gaga and that girl-boy Bieber more times than rabbits fuck.

We have good music and having only a hour-long music chart is not good enough. I know that at the end of the day it's all money but do we hear an American calling us up wondering who Yusri is sleeping with now?

Perhaps the government could impose a quota, I mean we are used to quotas, what's another, right, of local content on all fronts? Or we as a people start demanding?

Buy Malaysian, Travel Malaysian...content? Foreign!

Why I wasn't CLEAN today

So this post Bersih aftermath has opened my eyes to a few things. But before that, let's get things straight. I, without regret did not participate in the rally that took place this afternoon for reasons I shall reveal in a bit.

First and foremost, Kudos to my fellow Malaysians who stood up against all possible odds for something they believe in. That doesn't mean I don't support the movement, it's the rally that I'm not head over hills over.

I believe that their fight is fucken spot on, but I do feel since their cause garnered support from big name politicians such as Anwar and Nurul Izzah, one feels that if people in power such as themselves are hooked on the agenda, they should, could and would have fought hard since Bersih was first incepted.

The politicians that were with this cause since 2007 could have used the Parliament as the platform since they've taken office, to continue where Bersih 1 left off and brought fresher fights to today's cause.

The opposition has held a stronger hold in the Dewan Rakyat and also controlled states such as Selangor and Penang since 2008. Granted the fact that Penang has remarkably prospered, I feel that this rally should have been a follow up for whatever that has been fought for and not yet been achieved not wait three and a half years to do rekindle what some might call a lost cause.

Admitably, the government's reaction would be very different if this was fought politically but when you come to think of it, the police roadblocks, blacklists and unwarranted arrests would still be there no matter what. Hence, the general sentiment is: a proper separation of doctrines should be imposed in various public sectors such as the EC and MACC among others.

Sectors like this should be free of political influences whatsoever, especially the media, mainstream or not. The media has the right, no fuck that, they have the responsibility to report only the truth. Don't ask me how do we preserve that, I haven't thought about it that far ahead. Just call me an idealist for now.

On another note, I feel that this rally is to take away the spotlight from Anwar's buttsex/sex scandal. It has been done before on both sides of the political divide. Let's not forget the Indian judge and Mongolian model fiasco.

Finally on a more somber note, let's not look at this as an American song, but the sentiment behind the song which was used to express gratitude for servicemen who has fought for their country. This song is dedicated to Baharuddin Ahmad who fell during the rally this afternoon. May your life be for the greater good, whatever that might be.

Freedom isn't free - Trey Parker

What would you do

If you were asked to give up your dreams for freedom?

What would you do

If asked to make the ultimate sacrifice?

Would you think about all them people

Who gave up everything they had?

Would you think about all them War Vets

And would you start to feel bad?

Freedom isn't free

It costs folks like you and me

And if we don't all chip in

We'll never pay that bill

Freedom isn't free

No, there's a hefty in' fee.

And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five

Who will?

What would you do

If someone told you to fight for freedom?

Would you answer the call

Or run away like a little?

'Cause the only reason that you're here

Is 'cause folks died for you in the past

So maybe now it's your turn

To die kicking some ass

Let's just hope we'll stand united when equality is demanded

Friday Nite LIVE

Seeing as how Blister will be rockin' it at Backyard this Friday (December 3, 2010) from 9.30pm til LATE

I've decided to pen type a few words to help YOU get accustomed to the ALL NEW Backyard's MOSH PIT!

Speaking on Mosh Pits, I've seen/been in a few 'Major 'Pits' me-self..

*Blast Off, KL, 2004

*MTV World Stage, KL, 2009

*Slash Live in KL, 2010

*The SHOUT! Awards, KL, 2010

The ONE thing all of these have in common is: Malaysians have no MOSH PIT ETIQUETTE!

So here's:

THE RULES OF THE MOSH PIT


The FIRST RULE of FIGHT CLUB the MOSH PIT is: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB the MOSH PIT (Sorry, I got carried away)

#1 Dress Appropriately
Observe comfortable but ROCK-ish clothing at all times. 

DO NOT mosh over-aggressively with your stupid-assed-metal-clad boots and chains and spikes coming out from all the wrong places. You'll just hurt someone physically not emotionally because they see how retarded you look. 

Spiked hair is still good in my book as long as it doesn't belong to a TOTAL DOUCHE!

On the other hand, if you come to a mosh pit dressed in a suit or some preppy looking kid like Fred from Scobby-Doo or anyone from the Archie series, prepare to get taunted and ridiculed so hard, droplets of shit might fall from your eyes.

Fred Jones

Dressing up like Shaggy however, is acceptable.


#2 NO fists...NO elbows!
Nobody likes a DOUCHE throwing his/her elbows/fists into another person's rib,face, scrotum, etc. If you had a fist or two come your way, you'd probably deserve it from not paying attention to the Pit and texting another DOUCHE: 

OMFG...dis band ttly rox! XD I wish dese morons'd stp jumpin so fucken much..so annoyin! :/

If you really can't take it anymore, just pinch 'em around the inner arm. I guarantee that they will feel the pain..even though he/she has had her eyes tattooed.


#3 NO Phones/Cameras/Cameraphones
Fact: Unless the BAND asked you to record a clip, don't do it.

You are in the (mosh) pit for a reason: fully experience the energy and music thru' bouncing your bodies in a safe yet aggressive manner..

So, don't bother carrying your sweat drenched (arm)pits in the air, trying to record the WHOLE concert and at the same time getting pissed off at the few people who are trying to mosh, hence ruining your shots..because if you are the tool that's doing just that, LET LOOSE BRAH! 

You already are probably stuck in a crappy DAY job..leave the stick in the office man..put it back in your ass tomorrow..LIVE a little. What are you gonna do with the clip anyways? Boast to your equally lame friends that you were there? Put up a video on Youtube?


#4 YES to deodorant
Maths: You + 60 minutes waiting in line + 150 minutes in the Mosh Pit = SMELLY!

Just be kind to all of us..slap on some deodorant, splash a little perfume..C'mon, is that so hard to ask?


#5 Don't be a cheap-thrill..desperate guy..
Don't go round molesting people..it's not cool.
What's even more uncool-er? 
You going around looking to be molested.


Sad to say, but I've seen a few blokes dressed up tranny-like, looking ugly and shit and go around rubbing themselves over other guys. HELLS NO!


My advice to these kinda PERVS: Try crowd-surfing. That way you'll be groped and grabbed all over.

Oh and crowd-surfing starts from front to back..do it the other way and I can guarantee you..YOU WILL BE DROPPED!

 I know my shit!

Anyhoo..this is a CALL to all Rockers and Rollers to come down to Backyard Pub, TRUST ME..the pub has great atmosphere, reasonable prices, and us, Blister - Rockin' the whole damn night.

Need directions? 

Click here

Need orgasms?  

Click here 

Blister

Dear Emma

Dear Emma,

Thank you so much for dropping a line. If you also have a blog please forward me it's link, I'd love to read it and link it to mine. I guess you are doing fine... I'm responding to your comment not on a personal level nor is it meant to hit your fine country, our neighbour, Indonesia. This is just a part of the debate which I'm looking forward to continuing.

Anyhoo,

I do appreciate on the imput on some facts on the Indonesian market. You do realize that the Indonesian population is some 228 million people, which is roughly almost 10 times more then the estimated 27.5 million people. Therefore, I'd like you to analize the ratio of sales to the "market".

Of course everywhere will be talking about the volume of record sales but here, as we are speaking on local support, let us analyze on how many locals are really supporting the industry.
Even with Peter Pan's record of 3 million copies sold in Indonesia, it's actualy about only one in a million who is buying.

Their "rezeki" on being blessed with good looks or brilliant minds and making money out of it was never at question in the first place. Lets say if they had to rely solely on the music, how would they survive? I take back what I said on the reliability of the Indonesian bands on Malaysia to make them rich. My apologies there. I now agree Malaysia on it's own doesn't put food on the plate for the Indonesian bands, I'm not even questioning the Malaysian devotion towards Indonesian bands. I'm only asking my fellow Malaysians to look and love what we have.

Emma,

How would you feel if your local telco (in our case MAXIS) sponsors a stadium, theme park concert for foreign acts? Indonesian acts included...when on the other side we are struggling to get sponsors, permits, running into trouble with the cops, venues(always some hall or club) for our bands-established and upcoming to perform. Amy Search performed in Limkokwing, Butterfingers performing in Ruums soon.

Thanks Fly Fm for having the Campur Chart, but you could have banged the one year anniversary in a stadium or make it feel real Ozzfest, Woodstock like. Maybe next year...i hope!

Thanx Emma...hoping to hear from you soon.




p.s. Emma was kind enough to leave a comment clarifying some facts on my previous post Local Scene Blues

Local Scene Blues

Anyone ever heard of the band Radja? Samson maybe? The one that sings the song Kenangan Terindah? Or maybe you have heard Padi? I'm sure you've heard Dewa 19? Their song, Pupus? Kasidah Cinta? How about the band Peterpan or Sheila on 7?

Damn big names here in Malaysia rite? I mean loads of albums being sold, special concerts and awards all going to them. Give credit where its due right? So far, I have no real problems with the music they SELL (or do they call it play?). I kinda dig some of the tunes. Where are they from?

Well, this is a place to rant, and there will be some..

So...what's the real deal?

Indonesian bands here are very dominant to an extant that it overshadows our local acts. As I said, give credit where it's due, some Indonesian bands are good, but are they really as phenomenal back home in the streets of Jakarta?

The Malaysian general listener will automatically prefer music with Indonesian flavour. People actually prefer Radja and Samson and diss Spoon (not a real big fan of all 3). They play the same kind of music...and Malaysians prefer the one with Indonesian flavour. Well, here's a news flash.. Indonesian Pop/Rock bands' sales back in Indonesia are crap! They rely on us here in Malaysia to make them rich. People here worship the ground they walk on. It's ridiculous...but true.

How can this go on with radios and all blasting support your local scene. Well here's another nail in the back of the head... Have you heard Butterfingers on air? NO!! Our stations dedicate one pathetic chart a week and cramp the same old LOCAL ENGLISH bands in it! Why not let our bands mingle with the big boys of UK or the USA on air? Or are we giving our bands "preferential" treatment? Is there some kind of subliminal message saying our bands are not good enough to be played on our stations for our people to hear and enjoy (or critic..depends which side of the coin you prefer..you narcissistic b*stard..haha)

Speaking of not good enough...if lets say we had one band...local...playing the theme song for a international brand's promo...wouldn't that deserve some airtime which is not at bloody 3:45am when even the guards are asleep! Wouldn't it be cool having a band playing the theme for Nike? Well Seven Collar t-Shirt plays My Generation (not the Limp Bizkit version) and have we heard it on air? I don't think so...!

Outrage..at our local Anugerah Industri Musik, we have a special catergory for best Indonesian artiste. Do our bands get the same reception, honour there? Does the Best Malaysian Artiste Award get any recognition? NO!! Hell, I have reason to belive that our records are discarded over there.

Astro...what have you been doing all these years? Of all who won in reality music contests in Astro, Mawi is the only one seriously making it big...the arguement of whether he can sing or not, I wont discuss here. Is it the company policy to promote the wrong people? Of six Akademi Fantasias and three Blast Offs, I don't see anyone carrying their name without the tag "AF' behind their name besides Vince..You've got Khai AF, Adam AF, what the hell?

On that same note, how is pur local scene going to grow? Until when are our music going to be rated second class compared to Indonesia? Are we supposed to launch our songs outside of Malaysia and make it big outside..then only come back and play it on radio.

We've seen it with Guy Sebastian and Che'nelle. They migrate and make it big and here comes our local radios in line to play their songs. It doesn't matter if the artiste spent one hour here or a week, but as long as the artiste migarates and make it big...here comes the Anak Malaysia tag! BULLSHIT!!

From the way I see it, our musicians can kiss the dream of making it big locally goodbye, until we can make less of a mockery of Akademi Fantasia and promote really talented musicians. Thank God for youtube...

How About Us?

OK..I did some checking up and I found out that about 40% of the Klang Valley working class people who between 25-65 indulge in maybe once a fortnight or more at the local pub. May it be from listening to the Os Pombos in Ol' Skool Bistro on Fridays or the Zarzadias Brothers at Backyard Pub on Thursdays...heck come check us, Blister, out at Backyard Pub every Saturday in May (cheap publicity...haha), one question lingers...what lies for the future of the musicians?

We all got our EPF or government pension or some other pension plan, basically something to sustain us in our later years...the musicians, well they don't have an EPF deduction! These are the same people who go on night after night giving us songs as we sip or gulp our larger. No, I'm not ranting out at the people, nor am I ranting out at the pubs. All I propose is system where musicians are able to taste the long term joys of an EPF payout!

Why aren't musicians eligible?

• They are part-time employees at a certain pub depending on the duration of their contract.
• Pubs rotate the talent from time to time.
• Probably because it'll be too "leceh" to go back and forth to the EPF office for the paperwork.

Utter nonsense! Here's what should be done (credit to Mr Jude Singho):

• Form a body which will contribute directly to the EPF
• The musicians and pubs register themselves with the Body with a small fee(be realistic..nothing is free)
• The Body manages the EPF accounts of the musicians and pubs
• The Body contributes to the EPF every month from the money of the musicians and pubs
• When a band retires from the scene, the Body cmakes a withdrawal

Simple!